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In the video to the left, Ben Merens shares the simple four-step greeting that, if used in your interactions with others, will change your life.

We call this element of our Verbal Defense & Influence communication framework the Universal Greeting because it has such broad applications.

Confidence in Conflict Book

Since weʼve published our book — Confidence In Conflict For Everyday Life — weʼve had a torrent of requests from readers asking for more in-depth information about our conflict management methodologies. In response, we decided to put together a comprehensive online course to make this material available to a broader audience than we can reach with our live workshops.

This course presents the same proven framework for addressing conflict presented in the book, but with greater depth and with the use of instructional videos and audios, real-world examples and at-home practice activities. Youʼll learn all ten elements of Vistelarʼs conflict management tactics, including the Universal Greeting, Beyond Active Listening, Redirections, Persuasion Sequence and Bystander Mobilization.

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Transform Your Approach To Managing Conflict

Thousands of copies of our book have already been sold. Now you can get the online companion course and receive a copy of the book for free (for yourself or, if you already have a copy, to share with others).

The information in the book and online course has been developed by the Vistelar Group, a global consulting and training organization focused on addressing the spectrum of human conflict — from interpersonal discord and bullying — to crisis communications and physical violence.

For over 30 years Vistelar’s consultants have been teaching conflict management to both organizations (in such fields as public safety, healthcare, education and business) and individuals. Our annual Beyond Conflict conference is now in its fourth year.

Verbal Defense & Influence, the communication framework taught in this online course, is one of the most popular programs offered by the Vistelar Group.

Conflict: Prevent It From Happening, De-escalate If It Occurs

Here is whatʼs included in the online course:

  • Over 70 modules, organized into 10 chapters.
  • Mix of audio interviews, self-reflections/assignments, video demonstrations, examples, at-home exercises and peace stories.
  • Over 6 hours of content
  • Strategies from Vistelarʼs experts in a wide variety of markets, including healthcare, education, mental health, public safety, community relations and business

In addition, you get a free printed copy of Confidence In Conflict For Everyday Life and our Communicating Under Pressure Card, which weʼll send to you by mail.

Here is what the course looks like once you log in to the Vistelar College

Here are just a few of the comments we’ve received about the book (reviews from Amazon.com):

EXCELLENT read! I was dealing with some issues at work (aren’t we all?) and this book was of immediate help – – distills so much wisdom into a format that’s easily remembered and very effective. Useful in all arenas: home, work, checkout line at the grocery store. Great stuff!

–George Hinkle

As a school administrator, this book put into perspective the consequences of my actions and reactions and how easily I can control the outcomes of my relationships with co-workers, parents and students.

–Sharon Tolkan

It’s a quick read and, surprisingly, loaded with new ideas. For example, in the chapter on listening, I assumed I’d get the same advice I’ve heard hundreds of times before – make eye contact, nod, take notes. Instead, the author explains how it’s important to go Beyond Active Listening and presents four tactics for doing so.

–Harriet Whiting

What Does The Course Cost?

The Vistelar Group normally charges thousands of dollars for its one-day workshops. These live training sessions are great because they allow for class discussion, group exercises and practice.

However, our consultants throughout the US can only do so many classes and not everyone has the time or money to attend.

Thatʼs why we developed this online course — so many more people can learn Vistelarʼs communication framework for managing conflict.

Weʼre obviously biased but we believe, if enough people learned and practiced our methodologies, we could — literally — change the world.

So, we decided to make the course available for just $69.00 and that includes a free copy of our book — Confidence In Conflict For Everyday Life: Proven strategies for conflict resolution and communicating under pressure.

When you submit our online order form, youʼll get immediate access to the course and weʼll mail you a print copy of the book within a few business days (we pay for shipping).

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Once you place your order, watch your email for instructions on how to login to access the online course.
Satisfaction Guaranteed

60-Day Guarantee

You have absolutely no risk when you purchase our course.

Review it for a full 60 days and, if youʼre not 100% satisfied, just let us know and weʼll give you a free refund (and you keep the printed book).

Course Outline – Table of Contents

Course Overview

Chapter 1 – Accepting the Inevitability of Conflict

  • When-Then Thinking
  • The Possibility of Conflict
  • Conflict in Your Life
  • Staying Safe with Emotion Guards
  • Developing an Emotion Guard
  • Preparing for Your Interactions

Chapter 2 – Respond, Don’t React

  • Signs Someone is Upset
  • Are You OK? Indicators
  • 24 Hour Rule
  • Tactical Thinking

Chapter 3 – The Five Maxims

  • Conversations with Dignity and Respect
  • Respectful Homework Help
  • Disagreeing With Values
  • Overcoming Value Differences
  • Improving Customer Service with the Five Maxims
  • Saving Lives with Dignity
  • The Power of Explaining
  • Respect in the Psych Ward

Chapter 4 – Showtime

  • Just Right Assertiveness
  • Stack Your Blocks
  • Power Posing
  • Tactical Sitting
  • Creating Your Showtime Ritual
  • How Are You Seen?
  • The Transformation Process
  • The Arena Comes to You

Chapter 5 – Universal Greeting

  • The Power of the Greeting
  • Building Your Universal Greeting
  • Rehearsing with Kids
  • Establishing the Environment

Chapter 6 – Beyond Active Listening

  • The Four Faces
  • Discovering the Real Issue
  • Listening at Home
  • Listening in the Workplace
  • Listening Across Gender
  • Types of Questions
  • The Power of Paraphrase
  • Are You Getting the Correct Message?

Chapter 7 – Redirections & Persuasion Sequence

  • Redirecting Verbal Resistance
  • Scripting Redirections
  • Offering Good Options
  • Developing a Persuasion Sequence
  • Counting Bricks

Chapter 8 – Social Contract

  • Social Contracts in the ER
  • Evaluating Social Contracts
  • Your Family’s Social Contact
  • Gateway Behaviors in Class
  • Dealing with Rumors
  • Football and Leadership

Chapter 9 – Bystander Mobilization

  • Stepping In Respectfully
  • Knock It Off!
  • What Makes a Good Engagement Phrase?
  • Developing Engagement Phrases
  • Explaining Bystander Engagement
  • Ethics are Morals in Action

Chapter 10 – Review and Report

  • Debriefing After the Action
  • Peace Stories and War Stories
  • Peace at the Dinner Table
  • The Report Card
  • Share Your Peace Stories

Course Wrap-up

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